A quick editorial cartoon about the intersection of self-pity, entitlement, rape, territoriality, misogyny and fear of women. You see it all over the place online in the form of Men’s Rights Activists (of whom there are a few reasonable non-misogynists), Men Going Their Own Way, Pick Up Artists, and dudes touting the “Red Pill”, because The Matrix is a good movie. Look any of these up if you have the stomach for it. These are extreme examples, but watered-down forms of these ideas are everywhere.
In lurking their blogs and youtube channels for a while, I’ve noticed that beyond the standard patriarchal chauvinism there is this deep fear of women - what they will do to me, how they will reject me, how they will use me, how they are changing society in a way that does not favor me, how they are making men into something I don’t like, how they are making themselves into something I don’t like, that they won’t give me what I want, and that they won’t give me what I think is rightfully mine. This goes beyond fear of feminism- this is fear of women at its purest. And that, to quote a puppet, leads to anger and hate. It’s sad.
I am a feminist. I think there’s enough ice cream to go around, but it does mean those of us with 3 scoops might have to give one or two up. Also, The Matrix is a fun movie but probably not anything you should be basing a philosophy on.
-Maya Mikdashi, in her article How Not to Study Gender in the Middle East.
Read this.
(via hizbullahtwerkteam)
REQUIRED READING
(via actyourrage)
(Source: dreamingofhalab)
You see, when we are not considered to be the legitimate owners of our bodies, then our decisions regarding them become unimportant. Thus, the Swedish woman’s desire to not have something done to her body was seen as less valid than the rapists’ desire to carry it out; Angelina Jolie’s desire to have surgery was seen as less valid than men’s desire to leer at her breasts; and women’s desire to wear what they like is seen as less valid than men’s opinions on what they should be wearing. These vary in severity and the horror of their consequences, but it is the same pernicious mentality that underlies them all.
Who owns our bodies? We do. And it’s time the world knew that.
" — via ellielamotheI’ll be brief.
We want to understand. We want equality. So you need to stop being such a raging fucking asshole whenever we try and talk about the subject. We’re going to get it wrong at first and you need to understand this because your ridiculously aggressive knee-jerk reactions to every little mistake we make is making us too scared to even bring it up.
Calm the fuck down. We’re trying.
- a man
Translation: I just wanna insult you by calling you irrational and angry while simultaneously playing the victim
Shut the fuck up
Dear Man,
This post was originally signed off, “Thomas Ridgewell (a man, trying to understand)”. So:
Dear Thomas Ridgewell who is trying to understand,
Thank you for being brief.
Maybe it takes a man to tell you this, because of the very reason I’m about to go over with you.
(And if you are really trying to understand, then you’ll listen to me, because it really is a basic concept.)
The onus is on you, Thomas Ridgewell, who is trying to understand.
You and me are agents of the patriarchy, which is a department - if you like - of the kyriarchy, whose business it is to keep ‘the other’ down.
It is not the job of someone who is oppressed to support us on our quest to understand, or to educate us, or listen to us, or even to be polite to us.
They owe us no favors, they are not beholden to us in any way.
If they’re angry it’s because they’re oppressed. And us men, however unwittingly, are agents of their oppression.
To be a good ally, we have to know our place. Because the people we represent have been deciding others’ places for a long time.
Your post has tone policing written all over it.
From a cisman’s point of view, there is no such thing as a feminist who is too angry. There’s no feminist who ruins it for the rest, as far as you’re concerned, it’s not your place to judge. And it’s definitely not your place to say it.
If you want to understand, try to understand.
You’re too scared to bring up feminism?
There are women who are scared to go into a club, or walk home at night, or leave the house because they get catcalled or grabbed or worse. There are women who are made to feel like everything was their mistake, because they shouldn’t have been out that late, or should have dressed less provocatively. And your feelings are hurt because sometimes you’re scared to bring it up.
There’s nothing tackier than two privileged men talking about feminism, so I’ll stop, and I’ll take this down if any feminist objects to it. I guess your post just rubbed me the wrong way.
Fuck men who think they can wade into feminism with their rights intact.
Yours sincerely,
Another man who is trying to understand.
everything you need to know about reddit in one picture
Evangelicals arguing against evolution/atheism and atheists arguing against anything they don’t like seem to have a really serious problem confusing “you are required to unquestioningly adhere to a strict and inflexible dogma, just like religion!!!11!” with “utilizing a cognitive framework to analyze your experiences and make ethical judgements”
and I would just like to remind everyone
that this
IS HOW THE HUMAN BRAIN FUCKING FUNCTIONS, YOU SQUALLING ASS SNORKELERS. THAT IS LITERALLY HOW IT WORKS. ALL THE TIME.
JUST BECAUSE IT’S A COGNITIVE FRAMEWORK THAT YOU DON’T USE DOESN’T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE IT DOGMATIC AND WRONG. There ARE cognitive frameworks that are dogmatic and arguably damaging to society. And there ARE ways to identify them. So when you reflexively label any perspective that you disagree with as DOGMA!!11!! RLEIGION OMg!!11! by pointing fingers at characteristics shared by ALL mental paradigms and hoping we don’t notice, you know what? it just makes you look like a FUCKING MORON.
why does everyone hate MRAs without even trying to know us
i’m a good puppy who likes men’s rights and i’m nice and why do people think we’re all douchebags
mean :C
SERIOUSLY CAN PEOPLE START USING REACTION IMAGES THAT MAKE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF SENSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO TELL ME HERE
(Source: tiny-puppy-teeth)
Tumblr source: robotaverage
[tw: ableism, medical abuse, rape] Feminist studies class taught you about shit like The Pillow Angel?
Really?
Did you know that the doctor who performed the illegal mutilating surgeries, bone growth plate removal, hormone treatments, full hysterectomy, breast bud mastectomy and other odds and end on a six-year-old girl committed suicide?
Did you know that her parents had a blog where they openly discussed that the main drive behind having medical experiments done to their child was the “indignity” of a “full-grown, fertile woman with the mind of a baby?”
Ashley’s parents said the decision to remove their daughter’s uterus and breast buds was for the girl’s comfort and safety.
“Ashley has no need for her uterus since she will not be bearing children,” they said, adding that the decision means she will not experience the menstrual cycle and the bleeding and discomfort commonly associated with it.
The operation also removed the possibility of pregnancy if Ashley were ever the victim of sexual abuse, they said.
The removal of the girl’s breast buds was also done in part to avoid sexual abuse, but was carried out primarily so she would not experience discomfort when lying down, the parents said.
Here’s what feminists have had to say about this case, if they bother at all(please note the eerie similarity of “the parent’s decision making process couldn’t have been easy” to “i wonder what this mother who wants her child dead is feeling”):
THIS IS THE **FEMINIST** DISCUSSION OF THE PILLOW ANGEL.
“TO BE FAIR, ASHLEY’S PARENTS…”
“THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE ASHLEY TREATMENT FOR CAREGIVERS”
“BUT WHAT IF WE DID THIS TO NON-DISABLED GIRLS? THAT WOULD BE OUT OF THE QUESTION!”
Not a single news story OR “feminist” analysis fails to call the illegal mutilation of a disabled little girl “treatment”.
Wait, what about the people whose JOB it is to defend children with disabilities? Sure hey will have something to say about this, right? Dr. Nancy Murphy, chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Children with Disabilities??? What do YOU have to say?“[This disability] shatters the reason we become parents: to watch kids grow, to be part of their lives and to launch into their own lives,” says Murphy. “When you have a child with lifelong dependency, you don’t get to launch your kid, and your caregiver options are limited.”
Hmmmm. okay.
Like Ashley, I, too, have a static encephalopathy. Mine was caused by brain damage at the time of my breech birth. Like Ashley, I can’t walk, talk, feed or care for myself. My motor skills are those of a 3-month-old. When I was 3, a doctor assessed me as severely retarded (that is, as having an IQ of less than 35) and I was admitted to a state institution called St. Nicholas Hospital in Melbourne, Australia. As the hospital didn’t provide me with a wheelchair, I lay in bed or on the floor for most of the next 14 years. At the age of 12, I was relabeled as profoundly retarded (IQ less than 20) because I still hadn’t learned to walk or talk.My life changed when I was offered a means of communication. At the age of 16, I was taught to spell by pointing to letters on an alphabet board. Two years later, I used spelling to instruct the lawyers who fought the habeas corpus action that enabled me to leave the institution in which I’d lived for 14 years.
In the ultimate Catch-22, the hospital doctors told the Supreme Court that my small stature was evidence of my profound mental retardation. I’ve learned the hard way that not everything doctors say should be taken at face value.Unlike Ashley, I’m now an ordinary height and weight — but I don’t get left out, nonetheless. Though I still can’t walk, talk or feed myself, I’m an enthusiastic traveler. My size has never got in the way, though my hip flask of Bundy rum often causes alarm at airport security.Given that Ashley’s surgery is irreversible, I can only offer sympathy to her and her parents. For her sake, I hope she does not understand what has happened to her; but I’m afraid she probably does. As one who knows what it’s like to be infantilized because I was the size of a 4-year-old at age 18, I don’t recommend it.PLEASE TELL ME AGAIN WHO SHOULD BE SPEAKING FOR DISABLED PEOPLETELL ME AGAIN ABOUT YOUR CHILD/SIBLINGS/FAMILY MEMBER’S “MENTAL AGE”PLEASE TELL ME AGAIN TO GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE STRESS OF CAREGIVERSPLEASE TELL ME AGAIN WHY I SHOULD LIVE INSIDE AN APOLOGY FOR MY EXISTENCEPLEASE TELL ME SOME MORE ABOUT HOW I SHOULD GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT A MOVEMENT THAT DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT METELL ME SOME MORE ABOUT YOUR FEMINIST STUDIES CLASS YOU ASSI literally never knew about this case.
and.
curiousity is making me look into it and I know I’ll regret it.
I learned nothing about this in my GWS classes. And I am a GWS major.
Feminism leaves women with all disabilities (even mine) out and it’s a level of violence they don’t realize they are perpetrating (or they do and either way, it’s horrible).
bolding mine.
Seriously, it’s completely overlooked because the entire reason that this is DONE in the first place is that disabled people, especially disabled women, ESPECIALLY NONVERBAL DISABLED WOMEN, are seen as not-human, less than human, other than human.Therefore not “women”. Therefore, outside the scope of feminist concern, according tot hem.
In what fucking universe is it acceptable to permanently mutilate a young girl’s body to “prevent rape”? Or just as heinously, to surgically remove your tiny daughter’s breast buds instead of using different restraints to keep her in her chair????
It what fucking universe is it acceptable for feminists to only mention this to pose it against treatment of “real women”?
In what fucking universe is it acceptable for feminists to center this discussion around the mutilated girl’s parents and their “hardships”????
To the girls who say they want a nice guy.
Shut the fuck up. All us nice guys stuck in fucking friendzone know what you really want is some asshole to complain about to us. GTFO. We’re tired of it.
You sound super nice. I don’t know why no one wants to date you.
What a mystery.
I’ve had a bad day ok. I’ve pretty much given this girl, who I’m really close with, my heart and she shoots me down and starts telling me about all the guy problems. It just really fucking hurts and I felt here would be a better place to vent then some of my other options.
You know what? I know what it feels like to rejected. It fucking sucks and a lot of people are able to relate to what you’re feeling. You know what else I know? I know what it feels like to build a friendship with a guy. A guy that was nice and treated me like a human being instead of walking vagina he wants to fuck. I know what it’s like to become friends with a guy like this and slowly start to trust him. Slowly we build a really meaningful relationship and I let my guard down and I start to show him vulnerable parts of myself. I start to share my fears and weaknesses with him. I start relying on this important person in my life for support when I find out that I’m being dicked around by another guy who only sees me as a walking vagina he wants to fuck. And then this guy that I really care about tells me that he has feelings for me and when I tell him that I don’t feel the same way, he turns around and calls me a bitch. He says I friendzoned him and he goes on some social networking site and starts blasting me and all of his friends are like “wow what a bitch. She doesn’t know what she’s missing” and he gets to pity himself and feel validated. I, on the other hand, am left with the realization that my friendship, that this closeness we shared didn’t mean jack shit. That this guy I trusted didn’t care enough about me as a person to not turn on me the second he found out I wouldn’t date/have sex with him. Suddenly, I’m feeling this whole time, everything I thought we had, was only as important to him as his chances to get in my pants. And let me tell you, that hurts way more than rejection.
Here’s the thing, buddy. You’re not just one guy who’s having a bad day because you had your heart broken. Browse the friend zone tag. You’re just one of the many guys that post things like pictures that say “when a girl starts telling you about her problems, she’s not complaining. It means she trust you” and the caption says “Aaaannnd you’ve been friendzoned” like having a platonic, meaningful relationship with a woman is just THE WORST FUCKING THING EVER. Do you know how shitty it feels to know that your friendship and your trust is so fucking undesirable that there’s a goddamn meme about it? Do you know how shitty it feels to know that your guy friends only care you as long as they can hold on to the possibility of one day fucking you? Do you know how infuriating it is to know that that guy, that asshole who made you think he cared about you as a person, gets to flame you for daring to not be attracted to him? Because if you don’t know what that feels like, let me tell you that you’re not the one who got the shit end of the deal.
COMMENTARY
(Source: chronicles-of-a-nerd)
Kelley Temple, National Union of Students UK Women’s Officer (via feministkitsch)
(Source: marchingstars)
It’s hugely important, with female character arcs, to manifest development without changing the character. Would Elle be the same Elle if she started dressing like Vivian and acting like Enid? Do we really want Elle to abandon her sorority friends and hobnob with the East Coasters? I love dearly that while Elle does take some measures to fit in with her Harvard peers, the conclusion is that it’s simply impossible. Her goal is not to fit in with them, but to achieve comparably to them. She buckles down, devotes her time and brain power, and works hard to be in the same league as her peers. But even when she endeavors to dress like them, she ends up wearing a shimmering smoking jacket and fashion glasses. Ultimately, the film’s message is that Elle only has to be Elle to succeed. When she’s on her date with Warner in the first scenes, she wears a bright pink dress - her power color. And when she walks into the courtroom for her last scenes, she wears a bright pink dress - her power color. Elle hasn’t changed; her power has only shifted.
people assume you’re joking when you say Legally Blonde is a feminist movie
but it’s one of the BEST. FEMINIST. MOVIES.
:D
If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways.
And we should not be surprised when they behave these ways during attempted or completed rapes.
Women who are taught not to speak up too loudly or too forcefully or too adamantly or too demandingly are not going to shout “NO” at the top of their goddamn lungs just because some guy is getting uncomfortably close.
Women who are taught not to keep arguing are not going to keep saying “NO.”
Women who are taught that their needs and desires are not to be trusted, are fickle and wrong and are not to be interpreted by the woman herself, are not going to know how to argue with “but you liked kissing, I just thought…”
Women who are taught that physical confrontations make them look crazy will not start hitting, kicking, and screaming until it’s too late, if they do at all.
Women who are taught that a display of their emotional state will have them labeled hysterical and crazy (which is how their perception of events will be discounted) will not be willing to run from a room disheveled and screaming and crying.
Women who are taught that certain established boundaries are frowned upon as too rigid and unnecessary are going to find themselves in situations that move further faster before they realize that their first impression was right, and they are in a dangerous room with a dangerous person.
Women who are taught that refusing to flirt back results in an immediately hostile environment will continue to unwillingly and unhappily flirt with somebody who is invading their space and giving them creep alerts.
People wonder why women don’t “fight back,” but they don’t wonder about it when women back down in arguments, are interrupted, purposefully lower and modulate their voices to express less emotion, make obvious signals that they are uninterested in conversation or being in closer physical proximity and are ignored. They don’t wonder about all those daily social interactions in which women are quieter, ignored, or invisible, because those social interactions seem normal. They seem normal to women, and they seem normal to men, because we were all raised in the same cultural pond, drinking the same Kool-Aid.
And then, all of a sudden, when women are raped, all these natural and invisible social interactions become evidence that the woman wasn’t truly raped. Because she didn’t fight back, or yell loudly, or run, or kick, or punch. She let him into her room when it was obvious what he wanted. She flirted with him, she kissed him. She stopped saying no, after a while.
" — via ellielamothe
